So, you’ve got a potential rishta. Aunties are whispering, your mom is smiling suspiciously, and your phone is buzzing with “MashaAllah, great proposal!” But hold up, sis—before you say “yes” and start mentally planning your mehndi outfit, let’s get real. Marriage isn’t a rom-com, and you’re not here for a lifetime of awkward silences and mismatched expectations.
You need to ask the right questions. Why? Because “he prays” and “has a job” isn’t enough. Here are 10 MUST-ASK questions to make sure you’re not signing up for a surprise horror story.
1. What Does Marriage Mean to You?
Sounds basic, but you’d be shocked at how different answers can be. Some guys think marriage is 24/7 biryani service. Others imagine it as a Netflix-and-chill partnership (with no actual chill). Islam teaches that marriage is a sacred bond (Quran 30:21) based on love, mercy, and mutual respect—not unpaid labor.
2. How Do You Handle Conflict?
Because “I just ignore it” or “I let my mom handle it” are both red flags. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their wives” (Tirmidhi). So, does he argue respectfully, or does he shut down faster than your WiFi during a storm?
3. What Are Your Long-Term Goals?
Is he planning to move to another country? Start a business? Become a TikTok star? You need to know if your life visions align. Prophet Yusuf (AS) had a plan (hello, economic strategy in Egypt!). Your husband-to-be should have one too.
4. What Role Does Islam Play in Your Life?
Not just “Yeah, I pray sometimes.” If his idea of faith is Ramadan-only Taraweeh, and yours is making dua at every traffic light, you might have some issues. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to marry someone based on deen (Bukhari), so this should be top priority.
5. What Are Your Expectations From Your Wife?
Is he expecting you to quit your job and become his personal chef? Or is he cool with you pursuing your dreams? Expectation gaps = disaster. Get clarity before you sign up for anything.
6. How Are Finances Handled in Your Household?
No one wants to talk money, but trust me, you need to. Islamically, a man is responsible for his wife’s financial needs (Quran 4:34), but that doesn’t mean he should dictate how you spend your earnings. Ask about savings, debt, and budgeting before you’re stuck with someone who thinks “investing” means buying the latest PS5.
7. What Are Your Views on In-Laws’ Involvement?
Ah, the MIL question. Is he attached to his mother by an invisible umbilical cord? Does he expect you to “adjust” if things get toxic? Islam encourages respect for parents, but also fairness in marriage (Quran 2:187). Boundaries are key.
8. How Do You Handle Stress and Anger?
Does he ghost people when he’s upset? Punch walls? Stress-eat biryani? The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the one who controls himself when angry.” (Bukhari) You don’t want someone who turns into the Hulk over minor inconveniences.
9. Do You Want Kids? If Yes, How Do You Want to Raise Them?
One person dreaming of a soccer team and the other preferring a pet cat = not ideal. Discuss parenting styles. Will the kids be raised in a strict Islamic environment? Homeschooling? Madrasa? Public school? Get on the same page.
10. What’s Your Take on Gender Roles?
Does he believe in teamwork, or does he expect a full-time housemaid disguised as a wife? Islamically, men are providers, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) helped with chores (Bukhari). If he believes doing the dishes “makes him less of a man,” he might need a history lesson.
The Final Thought: Ask, Don’t Assume
Marriage is a huge decision. These questions aren’t just for fun; they’re for your future happiness. Don’t be afraid to dig deep, get answers, and most importantly, trust your gut.