Ladies, we’ve all been there. That moment when you think, Is he the one Allah sent for me, or is this just another trial testing my patience (and sanity)? If you’re wondering whether your man is your du’a come to life or just a spiritual pop quiz, keep reading, because the signs are clearer than you think!
1. He Reminds You of Allah, Not Just Netflix Passwords
A real one will encourage your deen, not distract you from it. If he reminds you to pray, supports your hijab journey, and makes you want to be a better Muslim, girl, he’s worth considering. But if he’s only reminding you of where you left your AirPods,
Quran says: “The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong…” (9:71)
2. Your Istikhara Feels Right (or Like a Red Flag Compilation)
You prayed, you asked Allah for guidance, and now your heart is either at peace or screaming run, sis, run! Trust your gut and the signs Allah sends. That uneasiness you feel? It’s not just the last sip of your iced coffee hitting wrong, it might be divine guidance.
3. He Respects Your Boundaries, No Excuses, No “Halal Dating” Loopholes
If he’s testing how haram he can go before you call him out, he’s not the one. The right man knows that love isn’t built on sneaky DMs and “just a call, it’s not a big deal.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “When a man and woman are alone, Shaytan is the third between them” (Tirmidhi). If he’s pushing limits, he’s pushing his luck.
4. He’s Serious About Nikah, Not Just “Vibing”
If he’s all talk and no action when it comes to marriage, girl, he’s just wasting your time. A real man makes intentions clear. The Prophet (ﷺ) told us, “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another” (Ibn Majah). So, if he’s “not ready yet,” tell him you’re “not interested yet.”
5. His Akhlaq Matches His Insta Bio
Everyone can post an Ayah and a deep caption about sabr, but does he actually live by it? If he’s rude to waiters, gossips, or treats his mom like a maid, . The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives” (Tirmidhi). If he isn’t respectful now, it won’t magically happen after the nikkah.
6. He Handles Conflict Like a Grown Man, Not a Drama King
We all love a man who can communicate, but if he’s blocking you over minor arguments or emotionally manipulating you, he’s not the test that leads to the blessing, he’s just the test. A man who’s right for you will solve problems, not create them.
7. He’s More Interested in Your Character Than Your Contour
Looks fade (unfortunately, even with the best skincare routine). If he only compliments your appearance but never your character, he might be attracted, but he’s not invested. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A woman may be married for four things… but choose the one with religion” (Bukhari).
8. He Seeks Advice from Scholars, Not TikTok Relationship Gurus
A righteous man values wisdom from the Quran and Sunnah over social media “love experts” who say, “If he wanted to, he would.” He will seek knowledge and make decisions based on Islamic principles, not trending opinions.
9. He’s a Provider, Not Just Financially, But Emotionally & Spiritually
Allah made men qawwam (protectors and maintainers) of women (4:34). If he’s financially reckless or emotionally unavailable, that’s a problem. A husband isn’t just a paycheck, he’s a leader, a partner, and a safe space for you.
10. Your Family & Trusted Friends Approve (Not Just Your Butterflies)
Love is great, but infatuation can make us overlook . If your parents, siblings, or wise friends raise concerns, don’t brush them off. They might see something your love-blinded heart doesn’t.
So, Is He The Answer or The Test?
If he checks most of these boxes, mashAllah, sis, you might have a keeper! But if he’s setting off more alarms than a masjid fire drill, it’s time to reconsider.
Let’s Talk: What’s the biggest green or red flag you’ve noticed in a potential spouse? Drop a comment below!
P.S. Looking for the perfect book on Islamic marriage advice? Check out this must-read guide that helps you spot the real deal and avoid heartbreak the halal way!