Alright, ladies, let’s be real. Sometimes, the idea of him, Mr. Perfect who sends good morning texts, has a solid beard game, and apparently makes dua for you every night, is a little too good to be true. You might be more in love with the fantasy than the actual, flawed human being he is. But how do you know for sure? Let’s break it down!
1. You’re Obsessed With His Potential, Not His Present
You keep convincing yourself, “He’ll get better, I just know it!” But girl, is he really on a self-improvement journey, or are you just giving him credit for a syllabus he hasn’t even read? The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Actions are but by intentions” (Bukhari). If his intentions aren’t followed by actions, you’re falling for potential, not reality.
2. Your Conversations Are Mostly… In Your Head
You spend hours dreaming about the perfect conversations you wish you could have. The reality? Your actual texts look like: “Hey.” “What’s up?” “Nm, u?” If you’re having better chats with your pillow than with him, sis, it’s time for a reality check.
3. You Ignore the Red Flags Like They’re Red Roses
He cancels plans, barely asks about your day, and somehow, he’s always “busy.” But your mind goes, “Maybe he’s just super committed to personal growth. Yeah, that’s it!” Islam teaches us to use wisdom and good judgment. The Quran says, “And do not follow that of which you have no knowledge…” (Surah Al-Isra, 17:36). Stop letting your imagination do all the heavy lifting.
4. You’re More in Love With the Idea of Being In Love
You’re so caught up in the fairytale that you ignore the reality show. It’s like binge-watching romantic K-dramas and expecting every guy to be a flawless, self-sacrificing hero. But love in Islam is built on respect, communication, and sincerity, real stuff, not scripted drama.
5. You Find Yourself Making Excuses for Him… Constantly
“He’s just busy.” “He’s just misunderstood.” “He’s just… uh… fasting?” If you’re giving more excuses than he’s giving effort, that’s a problem. The Prophet (PBUH) emphasized choosing a spouse for their faith and character, not for how good they sound in your daydreams.
6. You Fear Losing the Fantasy More Than Losing Him
Here’s the kicker: You’re more afraid of the dream collapsing than the relationship itself. The Quran reminds us, “Verily, with hardship comes ease.” (Surah Ash-Sharh, 94:6). Facing reality is hard, but the truth will always bring clarity and peace.
The Bottom Line:
If you see yourself nodding to any of these points, it’s time for a reality check, sis. Love isn’t about an idealized version of someone; it’s about appreciating their true self, flaws and all. So, check your intentions and remember: A real relationship built on sincerity, trust, and faith will always be better than a castle built on illusions.