Sister, I see you. One minute you’re minding your business, sipping karak, and the next, BAM!, someone’s smile has you reciting Surah Ikhlas three times like a protective shield. But before you let your heart take the wheel, let’s talk about how to handle this situation like a pro, the Sunnah way.
Because let’s be real: Unchecked emotions can lead to some, uh, questionable decisions. (Like stalking their LinkedIn page at 2 AM, astaghfirullah). But don’t worry, Islam provides wisdom for every situation, even this one.
Here’s how to keep your cool when your heart wants to start a Bollywood montage:
1. Lower Your Gaze (Yes, Even on Instagram)
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said: “Do not follow a glance with another, for the first is permissible but not the second.” (Tirmidhi)
Translation? That first accidental eye contact? Fine. But that second, third, and deep dive into their vacation photos? Not so much. Guarding your gaze isn’t just about avoiding temptation, it’s about protecting your peace. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Try this: If their profile keeps showing up in your feed, maybe it’s time to hit “mute.” (Your nafs will thank you later.)
2. Make Du’a (But Not for a Halal Love Story Just Yet)
Instead of praying, “Ya Allah, please make them my spouse”, shift the focus to “Ya Allah, if this person is good for me, make it easy. If not, remove them from my heart.”
The Prophet (ﷺ) taught us the Istikhara prayer for a reason. Sometimes what we want isn’t what’s best for us (hard pill to swallow, I know).
Bonus tip: Keep yourself busy with other du’as too, like praying for a strong iman, a stable career, and, oh yeah, self-control.
3. Fast (Because Your Heart and Stomach Are Connected)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “O young men, whoever among you can marry, let him do so… and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Bukhari)
Fasting isn’t just about food, it helps curb desires, including those that make you daydream about your crush instead of your salah. Plus, it’s a spiritual glow-up and an emotional detox in one.
Pro tip: If you feel a wave of emotions coming, swap the late-night scrolling for a late-night suhoor and some extra ibadah. You’ll wake up feeling like a queen who actually has control over her heart.
4. Find a Third Wheel (Your Trusty Wali or Mentor)
This is where having a solid support system comes in. Whether it’s a wise older sister, your mom, or a mentor, talking to someone grounded in Islamic values will help keep you in check.
Sometimes, we romanticize things in our heads, and an outside perspective can bring us back to reality (because no, him saying ‘salam’ to you at the masjid wasn’t a marriage proposal).
Try this: If you’re seriously considering marriage, have your wali or a mentor help guide the process. If you’re not considering marriage, well… why are we here?
5. Channel That Energy Elsewhere (AKA, Get a Life)
Let’s be honest. A lot of times, we fixate on someone because we have too much free time. The Sunnah encourages being productive, whether it’s seeking knowledge, working on your skills, or contributing to your community.
Instead of obsessing, do this:
- Pick up a new hobby (Quran journaling? Arabic calligraphy?)
- Volunteer (Nothing humbles you like serving others)
- Work on your self-growth (because sis, you are the prize)
The more you invest in you, the less you’ll feel like you need someone else to complete you.
6. Trust Allah’s Plan (Because, Spoiler Alert: It’s Always Better Than Yours)
We’ve all been there, thinking this person is the one. But let’s be real: Allah knows what’s best for us even when we don’t.
The Quran says: “Perhaps you dislike a thing and it is good for you, and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.” (2:216)
That’s your reminder that if something is meant for you, it will come without you having to lose sleep, dignity, or iman over it.
Pro tip: Next time your heart starts spiraling, remind yourself: If it’s written, it will happen. If not, alhamdulillah for the redirection.
Final Thoughts: Let’s Talk!
Now that you’ve got the Sunnah-approved playbook, tell me, which one of these hit you the hardest? Have you ever had to reel yourself back in after catching feelings? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
And if you’re looking for an easy way to refocus your heart and mind, check out this beautifully designed Islamic planner that helps you track your ibadah, set personal goals, and stay grounded in your faith. Because let’s face it, sometimes, all we need is a little structure (and a lot of tawakkul).
Stay strong, sis. Your heart belongs to Allah first.