Picture this: You wake up early, make breakfast, iron his clothes, manage the house, maybe even work a full-time job, and he still acts like you do nothing. No “thank you,” no appreciation, just entitlement with a side of selective blindness.
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, sis, you are NOT alone. Many women struggle with husbands who take their efforts for granted. But here’s the good news: Islam doesn’t tell us to suffer in silence. Let’s fix this, with wisdom, patience, and a little strategy.
1. Remind Him of His Islamic Duty (Tactfully, Of Course!)
Sometimes, men need a little Quranic reality check (gently delivered, of course). Allah commands husbands to treat their wives with kindness and honor:
“And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (Quran 4:19)
A quick, loving reminder can work wonders. Next time he ignores your efforts, say something like:
“You know, the Prophet (SAW) said the best of men are those who treat their wives well. Just saying…” (Sahih al-Tirmidhi, 1162)
Drop that Hadith like a mic drop and walk away.
2. The “Silent Treatment” Strategy (Halal Edition)
No, we’re not talking about giving him the cold shoulder for weeks. But sometimes, a little pullback makes people realize your value.
Instead of always rushing to do things for him, take a step back. Let him feel what it’s like when you’re not constantly catering to his needs.
You’re not being petty, you’re teaching appreciation through experience.
3. Speak His “Appreciation Language”
Some men don’t express love the way we do. They might show appreciation through actions instead of words. So, instead of waiting for a “thank you,” notice how he shows love:
- Does he fix things around the house for you?
- Does he bring home your favorite snacks?
- Does he take care of the bills so you don’t have to stress?
Sometimes, appreciation is just lost in translation.
4. Invest in Yourself (Because You Matter Too!)
Sisters, listen up: A man won’t value you if you don’t value yourself.
- Take care of your health.
- Dress up for YOU, not just for him.
- Start that business, learn that skill, build your confidence.
Want a game-changer? Check out Self-Care Planner for Muslim Women, a faith-friendly guide to help you prioritize YOU. Because guess what? The more confident and fulfilled you are, the more he’ll notice your worth.
5. Show Him How It’s Done
If he doesn’t appreciate you, lead by example.
- Praise him when he does something helpful.
- Thank him when he makes an effort.
- Model the behavior you want to see.
Men (even the stubborn ones) respond better to positive reinforcement than nagging. Treat appreciation like a two-way street, and he might just start returning the favor.
6. Make Dua (And Let Allah Handle the Rest)
At the end of the day, Allah is the best of planners. If you’ve tried everything and he still doesn’t appreciate you, put your trust in Allah.
“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Quran 13:11)
Ask Allah for patience, wisdom, and strength. And if necessary, have an honest conversation (or even seek counseling) to work things out.
Final Thoughts: Speak Up & Know Your Worth
Sis, you are not a servant, and your kindness should not be taken for granted. Don’t be afraid to voice your needs and set boundaries. And remember: you deserve appreciation, not just as a wife, but as a person.
So tell me, which of these tips will you try first? Or do you have your own secret strategy? Drop a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!