So, your mother-in-law thinks you’re the villain in her son’s life? She gives you the side-eye at family gatherings, makes “innocent” comments about your cooking, and somehow always finds a way to remind you that she raised your husband first. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, sis, Islam has got your back. Let’s dive into seven halal ways to deal with a difficult mother-in-law, without losing your sanity (or your akhlaq).
1. Activate Your Sabr Mode (Patience, But Make It Powerful)
Patience isn’t just a virtue, it’s a survival skill when dealing with in-laws. Allah (SWT) reminds us:
“Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Quran 2:153)
When she makes yet another questionable comment about how her son used to prefer his tea a different way (before you ruined his taste buds), just smile and say, “MashaAllah, I’m always learning new things!”, then sip that tea like the queen you are.
2. Dua: Your Secret Weapon
Nothing softens a heart faster than a sincere dua. Even if she treats you like an outsider, make dua for her happiness and guidance. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
“The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered.” (Muslim)
Ask Allah to place love and understanding between you both. Who knows? Next Eid, she might just be the one handing you the biggest Eidi! (Dream big, sis.)
3. Out-Kindness Her (Yes, It’s a Thing)
When she’s serving up passive-aggressive realness, respond with aggressive kindness. Islam teaches us to counter negativity with goodness:
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better…” (Quran 41:34)
She criticizes your biryani? Compliment her amazing cooking. She says your house isn’t clean enough? Thank her for noticing and ask if she has any pro tips. Eventually, she’ll either run out of things to complain about or just surrender to your kindness.
4. Set Boundaries Like a Pro (With Love, of Course)
Being nice doesn’t mean being a doormat. If she constantly oversteps, it’s okay to gently assert yourself. The Prophet (SAW) said:
“The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the one who controls himself when angry.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Set limits kindly but firmly. Example: “Mama, I really appreciate your advice, but my husband and I would like to handle this our way.” Then follow up with a big, respectful smile. Works like a charm!
5. Let Your Husband Take the Lead (It’s His Circus, Too)
Your husband is the bridge between you and his mother. If she’s overstepping, it’s his job to remind her (gently) that you are his wife, and she needs to respect that. A good husband knows:
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi)
If he’s slacking, remind him, lovingly, of course, that keeping peace in the household is part of his responsibility. No need for a drama showdown, just an honest talk.
6. Master the Art of Selective Hearing
Not everything deserves a reaction, sis. If she says something outrageous, pretend you didn’t hear it. If she insists on repeating it, respond with the most neutral “SubhanAllah” you can muster and walk away. Nothing confuses a passive-aggressive person more than someone who refuses to take the bait.
7. Self-Care & Tawakkul: Protect Your Mental Health
At the end of the day, your mental well-being matters. Islam teaches balance. If she’s draining your energy, take breaks. Spend time with friends, engage in hobbies, and most importantly, remember that your worth is not defined by her opinion. Trust in Allah’s plan and keep your heart light.
“And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him.” (Quran 65:3)
Final Thoughts: Keep That Crown Straight
Dealing with a difficult mother-in-law isn’t easy, but with sabr, dua, and a whole lot of graceful ignoring, you can handle it like a pro. Have you ever had a tough mother-in-law moment? Share your best coping strategy in the comments below! And if you need extra help keeping your inner peace, check out this beautiful Islamic self-care journal to keep your stress levels low and your dua game strong.
May Allah bless your marriage and grant you sakinah! Ameen.