Let’s be real, sis. The Muslim dating/marriage scene is wild. One minute, you’re getting “When will we get good news?” texts from your khala, and the next, you’re scrolling through another bio-data wondering why every guy’s hobby is “going to the gym.”
You deserve someone amazing, but how do you know if he’s the one? (Hint: It’s NOT just about his height, beard, or if he can recite Surah Al-Mulk in one breath.) Islam gives us clear signs of what makes a righteous and worthy husband, so let’s break it down with proof from the Sunnah!
1. He Strengthens Your Iman, Not Just His Biceps
A real Mr. Right isn’t just flexing in the gym, he’s flexing in his taqwa! The Prophet ﷺ said:
“When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you (for marriage), then marry him.” (Tirmidhi 1084)
If he reminds you to pray Fajr but doesn’t guilt-trip you over missing Tahajjud, he’s a keeper. A good man will help you get closer to Allah, not just closer to the latest Netflix show.
2. He Treats You Like a Queen, Because Islam Says So!
The Prophet ﷺ was the ultimate husband. He did housework (yes, brothers, chores), spoke gently to his wives, and even raced with Aisha (RA). He said:
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi 1162)
If he’s rude to waiters, dismissive of his mom, or thinks “wife duties” = unpaid labor, Run, sis! The right guy will treat you with respect, kindness, and a whole lotta sabr.
3. He Lowers His Gaze… Even When You’re Not Looking
A man who truly fears Allah won’t be sliding into every other girl’s DMs while he’s “considering marriage.” Allah commands:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity…” (Quran 24:30)
If he’s got wandering eyes or still “besties” with his ex, sis, that’s not a “minor” issue, it’s a major . A loyal man guards his heart, his phone, and his gaze for you.
4. He Has Emotional Intelligence (a.k.a. He Knows How to Apologize!)
A real man isn’t one who “never cries”, he’s one who knows when he’s wrong. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The strong is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the one who controls himself when angry.” (Bukhari 6114)
If he apologizes like this: “I’m sorry if you got offended” , big yikes. A good man takes accountability and doesn’t gaslight you into thinking you’re “too emotional.”
5. He Provides, Protects & Plans for the Future
Islam gives men the responsibility of qawwamun (protectors and maintainers). That doesn’t mean he has to be a millionaire, but he should at least have a plan. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“It is sufficient sin for a man to neglect those under his care.” (Abu Dawood 1692)
If he’s waiting for “the right time” to get his life together but has been investing in the latest sneakers and PlayStation? Time to bounce, sis.
6. He Respects Your Family (Even if They Make Him Nervous)
If he talks about your wali like he’s the final boss in a video game, that’s a good sign. The Prophet ﷺ emphasized the role of family in marriage, and a real man will respect yours, even if your dad interrogates him like an FBI agent.
If he says, “Why do we even need a wali?” . Next, please!
7. He’s Not Just Looking for a Wife, He’s Looking for a Partner
Marriage isn’t a one-man show where you play supporting actress in The Amazing Life of a Husband. The Prophet ﷺ consulted, listened to, and valued his wives’ opinions. If he makes big decisions with you, not for you, he understands marriage the Sunnah way.
If he thinks “wife” means “24/7 personal assistant”, it’s a no from us, babe.
So… Do You Think He’s The One?
Finding the right person is hard, but settling for the wrong one is way harder. The best way to protect yourself? Make dua, seek guidance, and trust that Allah’s timing is perfect. If a guy checks these boxes (and your heart feels at peace), go for it! If not… girl, dodge that bullet like Neo in The Matrix!
Got a wild marriage proposal story? Drop it in the comments! And if you’re serious about preparing for marriage the right way, check out [XYZ Islamic Pre-Marriage Course], because love is sunnah, but wisdom is fard!