Let’s get real for a second. You know how everyone keeps telling you marriage is about compromise? Well, they’re right… but only to a point! Because here’s the thing: If you’re bending over backwards so much that you’re practically kissing your own toes, we’ve got a problem. And guess what? Islam totally agrees with that.
The truth is, Allah (SWT) created marriage as a partnership built on love, mercy, and mutual respect (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21). Not a one-sided circus act where you’re doing all the juggling. So, how do you know if you’re overcompromising to the point where your happiness, faith, and identity are being drained? Keep reading, sis!
1. You’re Saying “Yes” to EVERYTHING (Even When It’s a Hard NO)
You’ve basically become a “yes woman.” From cooking three-course meals every night to agreeing with every opinion even when it’s utterly ridiculous. Newsflash: You’re allowed to have boundaries! The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi) That means your comfort and well-being matter too, girl!
2. Your Happiness Is on Permanent Hold
When was the last time you did something that made you happy? If you have to go back to pre-marriage days, it’s time to hit pause. Allah (SWT) never intended for marriage to be a prison of self-sacrifice. Marriage should nurture you, not drain you.
3. Guilt-Tripping Is Your Daily Diet
You feel guilty for having opinions, desires, or even hobbies. Sis, even Khadijah (RA) was a successful businesswoman! Islam encourages personal growth, and if you’re being guilted into thinking your dreams don’t matter, something’s off.
4. You’ve Forgotten Who YOU Are
If someone asked you what your favorite hobby is, would you have an answer? Or are you too busy playing a role that feels more like a job than a life partner? Allah (SWT) values each person as an individual. Your identity should be celebrated, not erased.
5. Conflict? What Conflict?
You avoid disagreements like they’re haram! But here’s the kicker: The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) even advised on how to handle conflicts with wisdom and kindness. It’s not about pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about addressing issues before resentment becomes your new roommate.
6. Your Faith Is Taking A Hit
If you’re compromising so much that your relationship with Allah (SWT) is suffering, that’s a red flag. Nothing should come between you and your Creator. And any relationship that forces you to abandon your principles needs serious reevaluation.
7. You Feel Resentment Brewing
Here’s a tough pill to swallow: Resentment only grows where compromise is abused. The more you keep sacrificing your needs, the more bitterness piles up. And trust me, sis, it’s not pretty.
So, What’s the Fix?
Start by reclaiming your voice. Set boundaries, seek knowledge, and remember: Islam values balance in marriage. Love and respect are two-way streets, not one-way tickets to burnout.
Now, over to you, Have you been overcompromising in your marriage? Share your thoughts in the comments!
(Disclaimer: Always consult with a qualified scholar or counselor for personalized advice.)