We’ve all been there. One minute you’re having a normal conversation, and the next, you’re reenacting a full-blown courtroom drama in your living room. The silent treatment sets in. Passive-aggressive plate placement begins. Your du’as now include, “Ya Allah, grant me patience… or a separate house.”
Sister, pause. Before you let this fight turn into a bollywood-level saga, let’s talk Sunnah-approved damage control. Islam doesn’t just tell us to “be patient.” The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) left us a blueprint on how to handle conflict without wrecking our marriage. Here are seven Sunnah-backed steps to fight like a believer, not like a WWE champion.
1. Lower Your Voice (Yes, Even When He’s Being That Annoying)
Your voice is a weapon. Wield it wisely.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The strong man is not the one who can overpower others in wrestling, but the one who controls himself when angry.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Translation? Screaming louder doesn’t make you more right. It just makes your fight uglier. Take a deep breath. Channel your inner sabr queen. Keep your voice calm, and watch how quickly the tension de-escalates.
2. Don’t Let Shaitan Tag-Team Into Your Fight
Newsflash: That voice in your head saying “he doesn’t even care about you”? That’s not reality. That’s Shaitan running his marriage-destruction masterclass.
The Prophet (ﷺ) warned: “Shaitan sits in between you in your affairs.” (Muslim)
Before you let paranoia take over, seek refuge in Allah. Say A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim. Because let’s be honest, half of our fights aren’t about the actual problem. They’re about the drama our minds create around it.
3. Apologize First (Even if You Think He Should)
This one hurts. I get it. But hear me out.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their families.” (Tirmidhi)
You want a Jannah-tier marriage? Then be the bigger person. Even if it’s just saying, “I’m sorry for my tone”, that small move can completely shift the mood. Plus, a sincere apology often makes the other person realize their own mistakes. Win-win.
4. Text Instead of Talk When Emotions Are High
Ever noticed how we text more kindly than we talk? Maybe because we have time to think before hitting send.
If things are heating up, try this: Instead of yelling, take a break and text him. Something like “I love you, but I need a few minutes to cool down.” Watch how quickly he softens.
Bonus tip: Keep a cute “I’m sorry” GIF folder ready. Sometimes, humor fixes what words can’t.
5. Eat Before You Argue (Hanger Is Real, Sis)
Let’s be honest. Half the fights we have are because we’re either hungry or sleep-deprived.
The Prophet (ﷺ) taught us balance: “The son of Adam does not fill a vessel worse than his stomach.” (Tirmidhi)
Your marriage deserves better than a hangry meltdown. If you’re about to snap, grab a snack first. Science (and common sense) say you’ll argue way less.
6. Use the Sunnah Secret Weapon: Du’a
Sisters, let’s not forget that our biggest weapon isn’t our comeback skills, it’s du’a. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Du’a is the essence of worship.” (Tirmidhi)
Instead of dwelling on “how could he do this to me,” try making du’a for a stronger, more loving marriage. Something like:
“Ya Allah, put mercy and understanding between us. Protect our hearts from pride and resentment.”
Du’a changes everything. Your relationship included.
7. Rekindle the Romance (Yes, Even After a Fight)
Want to really win the argument? Do something sweet right after it.
The Prophet (ﷺ) showed love even after conflict. Aisha (RA) said they used to race each other for fun. (Abu Dawood)
You don’t have to plan a whole vacation, just a little act of kindness. A cute note. His favorite snack. A forehead kiss. Anything that reminds both of you: We may fight, but we don’t stop loving.
Final Thought: Your Marriage Is More Important Than Your Ego
Fights are inevitable. But destruction? That’s a choice. Every time you argue, you have two options: fuel the fire or put it out Sunnah-style.
So, which tip are you trying first? Or do you have a secret Sunnah tip that works for you? Drop it in the comments! Let’s help each other build marriages that last a lifetime, and InshaAllah, the next one too.