Ladies, let’s be real. Too many of us are out here thinking that a relationship will somehow validate our existence, like a Disney prince is going to swoop in and sprinkle self-worth all over us. Spoiler alert: That’s not how it works. If you don’t believe in your own value before a relationship, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, heartbreak, and way too many unnecessary emotional rollercoasters.
So, before you hand over your heart, let’s make sure it’s in premium condition. Here are 9 ways to boost your self-worth before even thinking about saying yes to a relationship.
1. Know Your Worth (And Tax It!)
You are not a clearance item. Your value doesn’t go on sale just because you’re single. Allah already told you your worth: “Verily, We have honored the children of Adam…” (Quran 17:70). That includes YOU, sis. Walk, talk, and think like someone who is honored by her Creator. If someone doesn’t see your value, adjust their access, not your price.
2. Fix Your Relationship with Allah First
Before looking for Mr. Halal, strengthen your relationship with the One who loves you unconditionally. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.” (Quran 2:222). So, focus on your salah, make dua, and find peace in your connection with Him. A man can complement your life, but he can’t complete your soul. Only Allah can do that.
3. Stop Settling for Bare Minimum Energy
If he takes three business days to reply, sis, he’s not busy, he just doesn’t care enough. And that’s not your problem. You deserve effort, consistency, and respect. The Prophet ﷺ treated his wives with love, affection, and honor. So why are you accepting situationships, vague intentions, and breadcrumbing texts? Level up your expectations.
4. Get Your Finances Together
Financial independence isn’t just a boss move; it’s an Islamic principle. Khadijah (RA), the first wife of the Prophet ﷺ, was a wealthy businesswoman. Let that sink in. You don’t need a man to “rescue” you. Learn financial literacy, save, invest, and make sure that if you ever walk away from a relationship, you do so with dignity and zero financial dependence.
5. Stop Comparing Yourself to IG Models
Social media is not real life. Filters, angles, Photoshop, it’s all smoke and mirrors. The Prophet ﷺ reminded us, “Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but He looks at your hearts and deeds.” (Sahih Muslim 2564). So, put down your phone, stop comparing your beauty to airbrushed illusions, and start loving what Allah already made perfect, you.
6. Work on Your Mental & Emotional Health
Before you expect someone to love you, make sure you love yourself. That means healing from past trauma, addressing insecurities, and breaking toxic cycles. Therapy? Yes. Journaling? Absolutely. Dua and self-reflection? Non-negotiable. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill yours first.
7. Surround Yourself with High-Value Women
Your circle matters. If your friends are constantly dragging you into drama, negativity, and gossip, it’s time for an upgrade. The Prophet ﷺ said, “A person is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” (Abu Dawood 4833). Find sisters who uplift you, inspire you, and remind you of your worth, not ones who make you second-guess it.
8. Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
If you can’t enjoy your own company, why would someone else? Being alone isn’t a punishment; it’s a gift. Travel, read, take yourself on a coffee date, find joy in your solitude. The more you love your own presence, the less you’ll tolerate people who bring stress instead of peace.
9. Invest in Yourself (And No, We’re Not Just Talking Skincare)
Sure, a 10-step skincare routine is nice, but real self-care is deeper than that. Take a class, learn a new skill, read a book, grow spiritually, and expand your mind. The more you invest in yourself, the more confident and self-assured you’ll be. And confidence? That’s magnetic.
Final Thoughts: You Are Already Enough
Sis, before you say yes to any man, make sure you’ve already said yes to yourself. Because the truth is, you are already enough. A relationship should add to your life, not define your worth.
Which one of these tips resonated with you the most? Drop a comment below and let’s talk! And if you’re serious about boosting your self-worth, check out this self-improvement journal that’ll help you track your goals, boost your confidence, and remind you of your true value, every single day.