Let’s be real, sis. If you clicked on this, chances are you’re either deep in the “Should I text him?” phase, the “But what if he changes?” struggle, or the “Istikhara said NO, but my heart said TRY AGAIN” delusion.
You know it’s toxic. You know it’s unhealthy. And you definitely know that being this emotionally attached is messing with your deen. But somehow, your heart is still clinging onto a walking red flag like it’s the last lifeboat on the Titanic.
Good news? Islam has the answers. Even better news? You don’t have to stay stuck. Let’s break free, one step at a time.
1. Admit That You’re Addicted (Because You Kinda Are)
The first step? Acknowledge that this attachment isn’t just emotional—it’s spiritual. Love, when misdirected, can become an idol in our hearts. Allah says:
“And among mankind are those who take others as rivals to Allah. They love them as they should love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in their love for Allah.” (Quran 2:165)
Oof. Let that sink in. Is this person your rival to Allah? Time for a reality check.
2. Cold Turkey Is Sunnah (Block. Delete. Walk Away.)
You wouldn’t expect to heal from a wound while constantly poking at it, right? So why are you still checking his stories?
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“A sign of a good Muslim is leaving that which does not concern him.” (Tirmidhi)
Sis, he does not concern you anymore. Unfollow, block, delete his number, and put your phone on airplane mode for your soul.
3. Replace Him With Something Better (Like, Oh I Don’t Know… Allah?)
When a toxic attachment leaves your heart, you must fill that space with something else—or you’ll go running back.
Start small. Listen to a beautiful Quran recitation. Build your connection with the One who never ghosts you. Try this: Every time you think of him, make dhikr instead. Imagine replacing “I miss him” with “Ya Allah, heal me.” Game-changer.
4. Hijabi FBI Mode: Investigate His REAL Role in Your Life
Was he leading you closer to Allah or further away? If the answer rhymes with “rurther away,” then sis… you know what to do.
Allah says:
“The friends on that Day will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous.” (Quran 43:67)
You don’t want to wake up on Qiyamah and realize your “soulmate” was just a test in disguise.
5. Make Dua Like Your Life Depends on It (Because It Does)
There’s a dua for everything, including getting over that person you thought was your halal fairytale.
Say this:
“O Allah, turn my heart away from that which is not good for me, and replace it with that which is better for me.”
And believe it. Because Allah doesn’t take away except to give you something better.
6. Upgrade Your Energy: New Goals, New Focus, New You
What’s better than obsessing over a man? Obsessing over your purpose.
- Take a new class.
- Deep dive into learning Arabic.
- Travel for umrah (or at least to a new halal café).
- Start that hijab business you keep thinking about.
A woman who’s too busy building her akhirah doesn’t have time for heartbreak.
7. Cut the “What Ifs” – They’re Just Shaitaan’s Voice Notes
“What if he was the one?” “What if I never find someone else?”
STOP. IT.
Shaitaan loves to keep you in a loop of “what ifs” so you stay emotionally shackled to something (or someone) that isn’t even yours anymore.
Instead, rewire your mindset: What if Allah is protecting me? What if my true soulmate is making dua for me right now?
8. Detox Your Heart with Istighfar & Quran
Nothing purifies the heart like istighfar and Quran. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“Whoever frequently seeks forgiveness, Allah will make for him a way out from every difficulty.” (Ibn Majah)
Make 100 istighfar a day. Watch how your heart lightens and your mind clears.
9. Remember: If It Was Truly Yours, It Wouldn’t Have Left
Let that sink in. Allah doesn’t let you lose what was meant for you.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“What hit you was never going to miss you, and what missed you was never going to hit you.” (Tirmidhi)
If it left, it wasn’t meant for you. And if something better is coming? It’s already written. So trust the One who holds the pen.
Final Thoughts: Your Heart Deserves Better
Sis, if you made it this far, you know what you need to do. The real question is: Are you ready to finally let go?
Drop a + your fav healing ayah in the comments and let’s talk. And if you need a boost, check out this guided Islamic journaling workbook designed to help you actually move on (because crying into your pillow isn’t a healing strategy).
Your heart is so much stronger than you think. And when you fill it with Allah? It never breaks the same way again.