Ladies, let’s be real. You want the fairytale, a husband who prays Fajr, brings you chocolate and makes dua for you. But hold up! Before you start planning the dream wedding, are you actually ready for marriage? Because let’s face it: Nikah is not a Disney movie, it’s a commitment, a test, and an investment in your dunya and akhirah.
If you’re under 30, single, and serious about setting yourself up for the best Islamic marriage, this guide is for you. Get comfy, grab some chai, and let’s dive into the nine things you absolutely must do before saying Qabool.
1. Fix Your Relationship With Allah Before Anything Else
Before you start stressing about “the one,” ask yourself: Is Allah my number one? Because sis, if you’re disconnected from your Creator, how can you expect a husband to complete you? Spoiler alert: No man can fill a void that only Allah is meant to fill.
“And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them.” (Quran 65:2-3)
Start by fixing your salah, making sincere duas, and strengthening your tawakkul. When your heart is settled with Allah, you’ll attract the right kind of man, one who brings you closer to Jannah, not just cute Instagram couple goals.
2. Stop Romanticizing Marriage, It’s Not a Turkish Drama
Listen, sis. If your idea of marriage comes from K-dramas, Bollywood, or those 3-minute cute couple TikToks, you’re setting yourself up for major disappointment. Real marriage involves patience, compromise, and a lot of sabr when he forgets your chai order (again!).
Instead of focusing on the aesthetic of marriage, focus on its purpose. Ask yourself: Am I ready to be someone’s safe space, to communicate maturely, and to forgive even when I don’t feel like it? If yes, you’re already ahead of the game.
3. Learn How to Manage Your Emotions Like a Boss
Marriage exposes your real personality, not your Instagram-filtered one. If you’re the type to give people silent treatment, throw tantrums, or hold grudges for centuries, then pause and work on your emotional intelligence.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The best among you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi)
So, are you wife material in terms of kindness, patience, and self-control? If not, time to level up.
4. Master the Art of Communication, No One’s a Mind Reader!
Do you expect people to just know when you’re upset? Are you guilty of the classic “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not? Sis, in marriage, that’s a disaster waiting to happen.
Instead of playing guessing games, practice expressing your feelings clearly and respectfully. Men cannot read minds, but they can understand honest and calm conversations.
5. Learn Basic Life Skills, Because Uber Eats Won’t Save You Forever
Look, we’re not saying you need to be a master chef, but at least know how to feed yourself and manage a home. Cooking, budgeting, time management, it’s all part of being a well-rounded adult.
Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) helped in household chores, so no, you’re not being trained to be a servant. But a functional household runs on teamwork, and that means you need to contribute, too.
6. Understand What You Actually Want in a Spouse
Not what your mom wants. Not what your friends think is cute. What you need for your deen and dunya.
Make a realistic list of must-haves (Islamic character, emotional maturity, responsibility) versus nice-to-haves (tall, beard goals, drives a Mercedes). Prioritize qualities that actually matter for a peaceful and fulfilling marriage.
7. Protect Yourself From Toxic Cultural Expectations
If your family thinks you need to be 110 lbs, have fair skin, and cook like a Michelin-star chef just to be considered “good wife material,” let me say this loud and clear: Islam does not impose these standards on you.
Marriage in Islam is about piety and compatibility, not societal beauty standards or outdated gender roles. Know your Islamic rights so you don’t get guilt-tripped into unrealistic expectations.
8. Surround Yourself With Positive Role Models
If your only examples of marriage are toxic relationships, dramatic divorces, or that one khala who keeps scaring you about “how men change after marriage,” you need better references.
Follow healthy Muslim couples who keep it real and give solid advice. Learn from wives who prioritize deen over drama. And most importantly, build a strong sisterhood that encourages you to grow instead of making you paranoid about marriage.
9. Make Dua Like Your Life Depends on It (Because It Does!)
At the end of the day, the best way to prepare for marriage is to ask the One who knows what’s best for you. Make dua for a spouse who strengthens your faith, brings you closer to Allah, and makes your life easier, not harder.
“Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous.” (Quran 25:74)
Final Thoughts: Are You Actually Ready?
Marriage is a beautiful blessing, but only if you’re actually prepared for it. So, before you stress about wedding dresses or guest lists, focus on you. Fix your deen, master your emotions, learn life skills, and trust that Allah’s plan for you is unfolding in the best way possible.
Let’s talk! Which of these points do you think is the hardest to work on? Drop a comment below and let’s discuss! Or if you’re looking for a solid book on marriage prep, check out , because smart sisters do their homework!