Sis, are you in love… or just in trouble? Let’s be real, navigating relationships as a young Muslim woman today feels like walking a tightrope over a pit of haram. One minute you’re exchanging innocent messages, and the next, you’re emotionally invested in a situationship with zero barakah. But how do you actually know if your love is halal or if you’re heading straight for a haram heartbreak? Don’t worry, I got you. Let’s break it down.
1. Your Conversations Don’t Sound Like a Netflix Romance
If your chats are filled with “I can’t stop thinking about you ” instead of “How can we grow in deen together? ” then, um… red flag! Islam encourages meaningful connections, not flirty small talk that leads nowhere. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“When a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third one with them.” (Tirmidhi 1171)
If Shaytan’s your third wheel, that’s not halal, sis. Keep convos purposeful and respectful.
2. Your Relationship Has a Nikah Plan, Not a “Let’s See Where This Goes” Vibe
Listen, if he’s been “getting to know you” for years with no talk of marriage, ! A real man with halal intentions will make his purpose clear. The Quran literally tells us:
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (Surah Al-Isra 17:32)
No situationships, no “figuring things out.” If he’s not serious about nikah, he’s not serious about you.
3. Your Love Strengthens Your Imaan, Not Your Anxiety
Does your relationship bring you closer to Allah… or closer to sin? If you’re constantly worrying about where this is going, whether he’s really committed, or if you’re “too attached,” that’s your gut telling you something’s off. The right relationship brings peace, not panic.
4. You’re Not Playing Hide-and-Seek With Your Family
Sis, if you have to clear your chat history every time your mom walks by, something ain’t right. Islam honors relationships that are open, honest, and blessed by family. If you’re sneaking around like a high school rebel, pause and ask: Would I be comfortable if my wali knew about this? If the answer is no… you already know.
5. He Respects Your Boundaries, Even When No One’s Watching
A man who truly cares about you will respect your limits, full stop. If he’s pushing for late-night calls, secret meetups, or “just a hug” (girl, RUN!), then he’s more interested in his desires than your deen. The Prophet ﷺ warned:
“The best of you are those who are best to their women.” (Tirmidhi 1162)
A halal love prioritizes your comfort, your values, and your akhirah. If he doesn’t, drop him like a bad WiFi signal.
6. There’s No Emotional Rollercoaster, Just Real, Steady Growth
One week he’s talking about how much he adores you, the next he’s ghosting? Nah, sis. Love that aligns with Islam is consistent, respectful, and built on mutual understanding. If your emotions are being played like a yo-yo, step back and reassess. Halal love isn’t chaotic, it’s calm.
7. You Feel Closer to Allah, Not Distant From Him
The ultimate test: is this relationship helping or hurting your connection with Allah? If you find yourself skipping prayers, dressing differently, or hiding parts of your life from your loved ones, that’s your sign. True love doesn’t pull you away from Allah, it pushes you closer to Him.
So, What Now?
If you’ve realized your “halal” love might not be so halal… don’t panic. This is your chance to reset, refocus, and seek a relationship that truly brings you peace. And if you need a little guidance on setting healthy boundaries and keeping things on the straight path, check out The Halal Love Blueprint , a must-have for every Muslim woman navigating modern love.
What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to halal love? Let’s talk in the comments!