Let’s be real, when a guy says, “I love you for the sake of Allah,” does he mean it? Or is he just trying to slide into your DMs with a halal disguise? In a world where sweet talk is cheaper than a WhatsApp voice note, how do you really know if he’s serious about you or just enjoying the attention?
Sisters, don’t worry, I got you. Here are seven solid, Islam-approved ways to test his intentions before you invest your time, emotions, and endless istikharas on the wrong one.
1. Does He Talk to Your Wali or Just You?
“Do not be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with her.” (Bukhari, 5233)
If he’s been “getting to know you” for six months but hasn’t uttered a single word about meeting your wali (guardian), RED FLAG. A man who genuinely wants you in his life will take the proper steps, starting with your family. If he’s avoiding that convo like it’s a hard math test, sis, he’s not serious.
2. Is He Rushing or Respecting Your Boundaries?
“Indeed, Allah is with those who are patient.” (Quran 2:153)
If he’s pressuring you for late-night calls, endless texting, or “just one” casual coffee meet-up (no chaperone, of course), he’s testing your deen, not proving his love. A sincere brother will respect Islamic guidelines and your personal boundaries, not guilt-trip you into breaking them.
3. Does He Show Up for Fajr or Just for You?
If he can stay up till 2 AM texting you but snoozes through Fajr every day, priorities are misaligned. A man who truly fears Allah will try to strengthen his connection with Him before pursuing a relationship with you. Watch his deen, not just his declarations.
4. Does He Have a Life Plan, Or Just Instagram Quotes?
“A man is a shepherd over his family and he is responsible for his flock.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
If his only future plan is “inshallah, we’ll figure it out,” run. Love doesn’t pay rent. A responsible man has some vision, whether it’s career, financial stability, or Islamic self-improvement. Cute quotes from Mufti Menk on his story won’t cut it.
5. Does He Involve His Family or Keep You a Secret?
A serious man will introduce you to his family before things get too deep. If he’s treating you like a CIA mission, hidden, classified, and denied upon questioning, chances are, he’s not looking for a wife but an option.
6. Does He Encourage You Towards Allah or Towards Netflix & Chill?
“The best among you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi, 1162)
Real love strengthens your deen, not weakens it. If he reminds you of your prayers, encourages you to seek knowledge, and avoids shady convos, he’s a keeper. But if he’s more interested in “halal flirting” than in actual marriage steps, you know what to do.
7. Does He Accept Your Islamic Non-Negotiables?
If he rolls his eyes when you say you want a wali involved, dislikes hijab, or thinks mahr is “just a formality,” he’s not the one. Love in Islam isn’t about compromise on deen, it’s about compatibility within deen.
Final Thoughts: Trust, But Verify!
Sisters, love in Islam is about commitment, clarity, and responsibility. If he truly loves you, his actions will match his words. No excuses, no delays, no emotional loopholes.
Want to make sure you’re asking the right questions during marriage talks? Check out the Ultimate Muslim Marriage Checklist [insert product link], a must-have guide to filter out time-wasters and find the real deal.
Now, tell me, what’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever spotted in a so-called “serious” guy? Drop it in the comments below!