Girl, I see you. You’re sipping chai, scrolling through TikTok, dodging rishta aunties like Neo in The Matrix. Marriage sounds like a whole saga, and let’s be real, sometimes it is. But before you declare lifelong singlehood and adopt five cats, let’s talk about those fears and how Islam actually has your back.
1. “What if I marry the wrong person?”
First off, there’s no such thing as Mr. Perfect. There’s only Mr. Tries-His-Best. But Islam gives us a solid filter: deen (faith) and akhlaq (character). Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “When someone whose religion and character please you proposes to you, then marry him.” (Tirmidhi)
TL;DR? Swipe right on the man who prays, pays (fairly), and protects your peace. Not the one with just a nice car and gym gains.
2. “What if we fall out of love?”
Hollywood sold us the happily ever after. Islam reminds us that love is a verb, not a mood. The Prophet (SAW) actively showed love, feeding Aisha (RA) with his own hands, racing her for fun. Love needs maintenance, like a hijab that always slips off at the wrong moment.
Solution? Keep dating your spouse, make du’a for love (Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhurriyatina qurrata a’yun), and actually talk to each other (not just emoji responses).
3. “What if we fight all the time?”
Fights happen, unless you marry a robot. Even the Prophet (SAW) and Aisha (RA) had disagreements. The key? Adab (manners). The Prophet (SAW) never yelled, slammed doors, or did the dramatic “fine, whatever.” He taught us to argue with patience and respect. (Quran 16:125)
Pro tip: Don’t fight over WhatsApp. Your spouse is not a customer service agent.
4. “What if I lose my independence?”
Here’s a plot twist: Islam actually protects your independence. Your money? Yours. Your career? Go for it. Your identity? Still you. Khadija (RA) was a boss lady running an empire, AND happily married to the Prophet (SAW).
Just marry someone who sees your dreams as a partnership, not a threat.
5. “What if in-laws make my life miserable?”
Deep breaths. In-laws can be amazing or… a test of patience. Islam tells husbands to set boundaries (“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” – Tirmidhi). If he can’t stand up for you, he might not be ready for marriage.
Meanwhile, you? Keep it classy, set boundaries kindly, and never let a toxic environment kill your peace.
6. “What if he stops finding me attractive?”
Listen, sis. The biryani weight is real, but attraction isn’t just about looks. It’s about energy, kindness, confidence. The Prophet (SAW) praised his wives’ beauty and their character.
Take care of yourself for you. But if he starts looking like a potato in pajamas, remind him that attraction is a two-way street.
7. “What if I get stuck doing all the housework?”
The Prophet (SAW) literally did chores. Cooked, cleaned, mended clothes. If the best man to ever live helped at home, your guy has no excuse. Talk about fair division of labor before marriage.
If he says, “My mom never made me do this,” just smile and say, “Well, I’m not your mom.”
8. “What if we struggle financially?”
Provision (rizq) comes from Allah, and marriage itself is a means to barakah. (Quran 24:32)
Be smart, talk about money before marriage. Does he have a plan? Is he responsible? And remember, simplicity beats financial stress. You don’t need a 5-day wedding that ends in debt.
9. “What if intimacy is awkward or unfulfilling?”
Girl, let’s normalize talking about this. Islam prioritizes mutual pleasure. The Prophet (SAW) emphasized foreplay, emotional connection, and even dua before intimacy. If your spouse is clueless, educate each other with kindness.
Pro tip: Read about Islamic intimacy before marriage. Knowledge = confidence.
10. “What if I just don’t feel ready?”
Marriage is a big step, and not everyone is ready at the same time. Take your time, make istikhara, and prepare yourself spiritually and emotionally. But don’t let fear hold you back from something beautiful.
Final Thoughts
Marriage isn’t about perfection; it’s about growth, teamwork, and barakah. Islam doesn’t promise a love story without tests, but it gives us the tools to build a marriage that’s worth it.
So, what’s your biggest marriage fear? Let’s talk in the comments! Or if you’re looking for a book on Islamic love and relationships, check out this amazing guide. Because sis, knowledge is power!