So, you’re talking to a guy. He seems decent. Your mom says, “At least he prays sometimes,” and your friends are like, “But he’s cute though.” And now you’re here, wondering if you should keep giving this dude a chance.
Let me stop you right there. Islam doesn’t tell you to marry ‘at least he prays sometimes.’ It tells you to marry a man of deen and good character (Sunan Ibn Majah 1859). So let’s cut the excuses and get into it, 7 signs he’s NOT husband material, Islamically speaking. If he checks even one of these boxes, sis, it’s time to swerve.
1. He Has a “Chill” Approach to Salah (a.k.a. He Forgets More Than He Prays)
Listen, if he can’t commit to five prayers a day, how’s he going to commit to you for a lifetime? The Prophet (peace be upon him) literally said, “Between a man and shirk is the abandonment of prayer” (Sahih Muslim 82). You are not his mother, his imam, or his personal reminder app. If he treats salah like an “if-I-feel-like-it” activity, imagine how he’ll treat his responsibilities as a husband.
2. He’s Got the “InshaAllah, One Day” Syndrome
You ask him about his career, his goals, his plans, and he hits you with “InshaAllah, one day.” Umm… excuse me? Islam teaches us to tie our camel AND trust Allah (Tirmidhi 2517). If his entire life plan is just vibes and dua, sis, you’re signing up for struggle.
3. He’s Too Friendly with the Opposite Gender
You see him dapping up his female “cousins” (that don’t look like cousins) or sending laughing emojis to girls on IG. Red flag, sis. Islam sets clear boundaries, “Do not even go near zina” (Qur’an 17:32). If he’s got a whole roster of “just friends,” guess what? You’ll never be his only one.
4. He’s Got a Short Fuse
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The strong man is not the one who can wrestle, but the one who controls himself when angry” (Bukhari 6114). If he’s out here raging over parking spots and slow WiFi, what’s he going to do in a disagreement with you? If he can’t control his temper, run.
5. He Thinks “Man of the House” Means “Tyrant”
Does he quote “Men are the maintainers of women” (Qur’an 4:34) but conveniently ignore that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was the best to his wives (Tirmidhi 3895)? If his idea of leadership is control, not kindness, he’s not looking for a wife, he’s looking for a servant. Not today, Pharaoh.
6. His “Islam” Only Shows Up in Ramadan
If his deen is seasonal, one minute he’s at Taraweeh, the next he’s back at the club, it’s a no. A man should be consistent in his faith because marriage is a deen team, not a spiritual rollercoaster.
7. He’s More Attached to Culture Than Islam
He tells you “My mom says wives should wake up at 5 AM to serve the in-laws” but forgets that Islam says a wife is not a maid (Sunan Abu Dawood 2142). If his priorities are more about pleasing his family than following the deen, expect a lifetime of “My mom said” battles.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Lower Your Standards, Raise Them
Sis, love is not blind, it’s just ignoring the red flags. The right man won’t make you question your worth, your deen, or your future. Islam gave you the blueprint, now use it! May Allah grant you a husband who is a protector, not a project. Ameen.