Sis, stop right there. Before you start doodling his last name next to yours or imagining your grand wedding entrance, let’s do a reality check. Does he actually deserve you? Or are you just blinded by sweet talk, well-styled hair, and a questionable amount of cologne?
Marriage is serious business. And while love is great, it’s not enough to build a solid Islamic marriage. So, let’s get real. Here are 7 questions you must ask yourself before saying “Qabool hai!”
1. Is He a Practicing Muslim or Just a “Ramadan Muslim”?
Does he actually pray five times a day, or does he only remember Allah when he’s asking for exam results, a job, or, ironically, a good wife? Islam isn’t just a label; it’s a lifestyle. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said, “The best among you are those who have the best manners and character” (Bukhari). If he’s serious about his deen, he’s more likely to be serious about treating you right. If not? Red flag, sis.
2. Does He Respect Women, or Just His Mom?
It’s cute when a guy loves his mom, but if his respect stops there and he treats other women like extras in his personal movie? . The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives” (Tirmidhi). If he disrespects women in general, whether it’s a waitress, his sister, or a random auntie, know that one day, you might be next.
3. Does He Have an Anger Management Problem?
Does he go from zero to “rage monster” over small things? Throws tantrums when things don’t go his way? The Prophet (ﷺ) advised, “The strong man is not the one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry” (Bukhari). If he can’t control his temper now, what makes you think he’ll magically change after marriage? You’re marrying a husband, not adopting a project.
4. Is He Financially Responsible or a ‘Broke Romantic’?
Love doesn’t pay the bills, sis. Islamically, he is responsible for your maintenance. The Quran says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…” (4:34). If he spends more on FIFA packs than on his future, you might want to reconsider. Being rich isn’t the goal, but being responsible is.
5. Does He Have an Islamic Vision for Marriage or Just an Instagram Proposal Plan?
A guy who plans an elaborate proposal with fairy lights but has no clue how to lead a family in deen? Major red flag. Marriage isn’t just about cute dates; it’s about building a life together in a way that pleases Allah. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “When a servant marries, he has completed half of the religion…” (Bayhaqi). If his idea of marriage is just Netflix and chilling, run.
6. Does He Bring You Closer to Allah or Closer to Sin?
This one is crucial. If you find yourself lowering your standards, ignoring your prayers, or bending your values just to keep him happy, he is NOT the one. Marriage should bring you closer to Jannah, not drag you into emotional distress and guilt.
7. Can You Actually Talk to Him About the Tough Stuff?
Does he shut down when you try to discuss serious issues? Communication is key. If you can’t have real, open, and mature conversations now, it won’t magically improve later. Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was known for his gentle and patient way of speaking with his wives. If your man is allergic to deep conversations, it’s a problem.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Settle, Sis!
Marriage isn’t a fairy tale, it’s a test, a responsibility, and a path to Jannah if done right. The right man will respect you, protect your deen, and strive with you, not against you. So, choose wisely. And if you’ve asked these questions and still have doubts? That’s probably your answer.
You deserve the best, and the best is out there, don’t rush, don’t settle, and always trust Allah’s timing.