You hit your 20s, and suddenly your life turns into an endless cycle of “When are you getting married?” “Your cousin just got engaged!” “Time is running out!”
Excuse me? Is there a hidden countdown timer on my forehead that I don’t know about?!
Let’s be real, marriage is a beautiful Sunnah, but guess what? It’s not a forced requirement. If you’re feeling pressured to marry ASAP (or at all), let’s break down five hadiths that prove you have a choice.
1. The Prophet (ﷺ) Himself Encouraged Personal Readiness!
Ever heard the classic line: “You HAVE to marry young, or you’ll miss your chance!”? Well, tell that to the Prophet (ﷺ), who said:
“O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry… but those who cannot should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5065, Sahih Muslim 1400)
Notice how he said “those who can”? Not “every single one of you, right now, no excuses!” If you’re not emotionally, financially, or mentally ready, you’re not obligated to rush into it.
2. Women Had the Right to Reject Proposals, And So Do You!
Next time Auntie Shagufta tells you to accept the first proposal that comes your way, remind her about Barirah (RA). She was a slave who was married, and when she was freed, she CHOSE to leave her husband. The Prophet (ﷺ) didn’t force her to stay. In fact, he respected her decision!
“Her husband was a slave too, and he loved her dearly. But the Prophet (ﷺ) did not force her to stay with him.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5283)
If a woman in 7th-century Arabia had the right to walk away, you certainly have the right to say “No thanks, I’ll wait.”
3. Islam Recognizes That Not Everyone Will Marry, And That’s OKAY!
Do you know there were Companions of the Prophet (ﷺ) who never married? One of them was Ibn Abbas (RA), the cousin of the Prophet (ﷺ) and one of the greatest Islamic scholars. Nobody shamed him for “waiting too long.”
And guess what? Nowhere in Islam does it say that marriage is an absolute must for every single person. Instead, it’s an option, a choice, and a recommendation, not an obligation.
4. Marriage Is About Compatibility, Not Just Timing!
You know what’s worse than being single? Being stuck in a marriage that feels like a bad group project that never ends. The Prophet (ﷺ) actually warned against marrying just for the sake of it!
“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her faith. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5090, Sahih Muslim 1466)
This applies to both genders! You’re not supposed to marry just because it’s time. You marry because you found someone whose faith, character, and lifestyle align with yours. Not because of external pressure!
5. Your Worth Is Not Defined by Your Marital Status
Repeat after me: Being single does NOT mean you’re incomplete.
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but so is self-growth, education, and personal development. The Prophet’s (ﷺ) first wife, Khadijah (RA), was 40 and an independent businesswoman when she married him. No one forced her to “hurry up” and get married young.
Instead of stressing over arbitrary timelines, focus on being the best version of yourself, and when (or IF) the right person comes along, it’ll be on your terms, not because society pressured you into it.
Final Thoughts: Tell the Aunties to Chill!
Next time someone corners you with “When are you getting married?!” hit them with:
“InshaAllah when the time is right. The Prophet (ﷺ) said marriage is a choice, not a race!”
And if they persist? Smile, sip your chai, and remember, you’re in charge of your own life.