Ladies, we need to talk. If you’ve ever had an auntie corner you at a wedding with that concerned look, saying, “Beta, you’re not getting any younger,” this one’s for you. If your WhatsApp DMs are flooded with “rishta proposals” from men whose only personality trait is “has a stable job,” listen up. If your parents have ever uttered, “But he’s a nice boy!” while ignoring the fact that he makes your skin crawl, keep reading.
Because Islam has something to say about this madness, and trust me, it’s not what you’ve been told.
1. Forced Marriages? Islam Says a HARD No.
Let’s clear this up once and for all: Islam does NOT allow forced marriages. Period. No fine print, no “but in some cultures…” nonsense. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) straight-up rejected the idea of women being married off without their consent. Case in point:
“A woman came to the Prophet and said, ‘My father married me to my cousin to raise his status, and I was not consulted.’ The Prophet sent for her father and gave her the choice. She said, ‘I accept what my father did, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right to do this.’” (Ibn Majah, 1873)
Did you catch that? She literally went to the Prophet (PBUH) to flex her rights, and he backed her up 100%. So the next time someone tries to gaslight you into believing your opinion doesn’t matter, hit them with this hadith and watch them backpedal faster than a rishta auntie who just found out you have goals in life.
2. Your Yes (or No) Actually Matters
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“The permission of a virgin is to be sought for marriage… and her silence is her acceptance.” (Bukhari, 5136)
Now, let’s focus on the key takeaway here: If silence means acceptance, what does a loud, clear NO mean? That’s right, it means no deal. End of story.
And before someone says, “But your parents know best!”, yes, they often do. But that doesn’t mean they get to override your feelings, especially about something as life-changing as marriage. Even in Islam, your feelings hold weight.
3. Marriage is Not a Community Service Project
Many young Muslim women are guilt-tripped into saying yes because of family obligations or what will people say? Spoiler alert: The people talking now will still talk after you’re married, divorced, or unhappy. So why prioritize their opinions over your own lifelong happiness?
Islam values marriage as a partnership built on mutual love and respect:
“And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Quran 30:21)
Affection. Mercy. Tranquility. Nowhere in this verse does it say: “Marry him because your mom said so.”
4. Red Flags? Islam Wants You to See Them!
If something feels off about a person, guess what? That feeling matters! The Prophet (PBUH) advised us to consider deen (faith) and character when choosing a spouse:
“If a proposal comes from one with good religion and character, marry him. Otherwise, there will be corruption and great harm in the land.” (Tirmidhi, 1084)
Notice how money, looks, or family name didn’t make the cut? But here’s the best part: Even if a guy checks the deen and character boxes, that doesn’t mean you have to marry him. If you’re not feeling it, that’s reason enough to say no. Islam isn’t about settling, it’s about choosing wisely.
5. Marriage is a Sunnah, Not a Life Sentence
Yes, marriage is important in Islam. No, that doesn’t mean you should rush into it with the first guy who shows interest. The Prophet (PBUH) himself married later in life, married a businesswoman (Khadijah RA, a queen before queendom was a thing), and always emphasized kindness and respect in relationships.
So if anyone pressures you with the “You’ll regret waiting” speech, remind them that the only thing worse than waiting is rushing into a lifetime of regret.
Final Thoughts: You Have a Choice, Use It!
Sisters, you’re not being “too picky.” You’re not “wasting time.” You’re doing exactly what Islam encourages you to do: making an informed, intentional, and heartfelt decision about your future. Marriage is supposed to bring joy, peace, and companionship, not anxiety, fear, or dread.
So the next time someone pressures you to say yes to a proposal that doesn’t sit right with you, just smile and say: “Actually, Islam says I have a choice.” Then watch them struggle to argue with that.
And if all else fails, send them this article.