Sister, let’s talk. Have you ever felt like you’re putting in all the effort while your so-called “other half” barely lifts a finger? Do you find yourself making excuses for his behavior, waiting for a text that never comes, or feeling more drained than delighted?
Well, hate to break it to you (or maybe you need to hear it), but you might be in a one-sided relationship, a situation that’s more tragic than your last Eid outfit fail. But don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Let’s break down the 7 major signs that you’re doing all the work while he enjoys all the perks. Oh, and don’t forget, Islam has the best relationship advice (spoiler alert: self-respect is mandatory, not optional).
1. You’re Always the One Reaching Out
If you don’t text, call, or send a carrier pigeon, the communication just doesn’t happen. Sis, let’s be real, if a man values you, he will put in the effort. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
“The most perfect of believers in faith are those best in their character.” (Tirmidhi 1162)
A man with good character won’t have you feeling like a neglected houseplant. If he can spend hours on his PS5 but “forgets” to check in on you, you already know the answer.
2. He’s a Taker, Not a Giver
If your relationship were a Netflix subscription, he’s enjoying premium benefits while you’re stuck on the free trial. You give time, energy, and emotional support, but when you need something? Crickets.
Islam teaches balance in relationships. Even in marriage, the Prophet (ﷺ) showed love and care for his wives, reciprocating their affection. If he’s only around when he needs something, you’re not a partner, you’re a convenience.
3. He Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries
You’ve made it clear that you want to keep things halal, but somehow, he always “forgets.” Whether it’s inappropriate conversations, pressuring you to meet in secret, or pushing limits you’ve set, red flag, sis!
Allah says in the Quran:
“Do not approach unlawful sexual relations. Indeed, it is an immorality and an evil way.” (Quran 17:32)
A man who truly cares about you will honor your values, not challenge them.
4. You Feel Emotionally Drained (Instead of Uplifted)
A good relationship should feel like a safe space, not an emotional war zone. If you feel anxious, insecure, or like you’re never enough, it’s time to reevaluate. Islam encourages relationships that bring peace:
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them…” (Quran 30:21)
If you feel more drained than fulfilled, this isn’t tranquility, it’s emotional chaos.
5. He Doesn’t Include You in His Future Plans
When you talk about the future, does he dodge the topic like it’s a Fajr alarm? If he’s serious, he should be talking about nikkah, not just “seeing where things go.” Islam teaches us that relationships are meant to be purposeful and honorable, not casual time-pass.
6. You Keep Justifying His Bad Behavior
You’re constantly making excuses for him: “He’s just busy,” “He’ll change,” or the classic “Maybe I’m expecting too much.”
Sis, let me remind you: You are not asking for too much. You’re just asking the wrong person.
A man who values you won’t make you beg for the bare minimum.
7. Your Gut Tells You Something’s Off
Deep down, you know this isn’t right. That tiny voice in your heart? That’s your fitrah (natural disposition) and intuition warning you.
Allah gives us instincts for a reason. If you constantly feel uneasy, listen to that feeling. Du’a, istikhara, and self-respect are your best weapons.
So, What’s Next?
Feeling called out? Good. Now, let’s talk solutions:
- Set boundaries. Stop over-giving and let him show his real intentions.
- Seek Allah’s guidance. Make du’a, pray istikhara, and surround yourself with wise counsel.
- Know your worth. You are not a doormat or an afterthought. You are a Muslimah of value, and you deserve a relationship that reflects that.
And if you’re looking for a way to build self-confidence and set healthy boundaries, check out this amazing self-love journal for Muslim women (trust me, it’s life-changing!).
Sis, remember: Love shouldn’t feel like a struggle. It should feel like a blessing. If you feel used, it’s time to walk away with dignity and faith. Allah has something so much better in store for you!