The plot twist, his deen is meh. He prays… occasionally. Reads Quran… when he feels like it. Fasts in Ramadan… because, well, everyone else does. And now, you’re stuck in the classic dilemma: Should I marry him and hope he improves, or run for the hills?
Don’t worry, sis, I got you. Let’s break it down with 6 powerful hadith to help you make the right decision.
1. His Looks Will Fade, But His Deen Stays (or Gets Worse!)
“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religious commitment. So marry the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Sis, if the Prophet ﷺ flipped the script for men and told them to prioritize deen over beauty, wealth, and status, why would we do any less? That six-pack won’t keep your future kids on the straight path, but a strong relationship with Allah will.
Red flag alert: If he treats prayer like an optional app update, what else will he slack on? Your future? Your kids’ Islamic upbringing? Think long-term!
2. Deen Is More Than Just “Believing in God”
“The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character.” (Tirmidhi)
Some brothers think deen is just about believing in Allah while treating people however they want. No sir. A weak deen often shows up as bad character, lack of patience, dishonesty, selfishness. So, if he’s kind, responsible, and has good manners, that’s something… but if his deen is shaky, will that goodness last?
Ask yourself: If he doesn’t feel accountable to Allah, what’s stopping him from disrespecting you in the future?
3. Can You Handle “Fixing” Him? (Spoiler: You Can’t)
“Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Quran 13:11)
The biggest delusion? Thinking you can “inspire” him to become more religious after marriage. Sis, you’re his wife, not his sheikh. If he’s not putting in the effort now, why would he later, when life is busier, harder, and full of distractions?
Pro tip: Instead of gambling on his potential, pick someone who’s already putting in the work.
4. The “He’s a Good Person” Argument Doesn’t Cut It
“Between a man and disbelief is the abandonment of prayer.” (Muslim)
You say he’s nice. That’s great. But is he nice to Allah? If he can ghost his prayers, what makes you think he won’t ghost other responsibilities when things get tough?
Marrying someone with weak iman is like buying a phone with 5% battery, sure, it works, but how long before it dies on you?
5. What About Your Own Iman?
“A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” (Abu Dawood)
Now, let’s be real. If he’s not practicing, you’re not going to magically turn into a Quran-reciting, tahajjud-praying queen. More likely, you’ll start slipping too. If you want a husband who pulls you up, not drags you down, he’s gotta be strong in his deen.
Warning: Weak deen is contagious. Protect your faith first.
6. Would You Want Him Raising Your Kids?
“Command your children to pray when they become seven years old.” (Abu Dawood)
Picture this: Your future 7-year-old asks, “Baba, why don’t you pray?” And he shrugs, “Ehh, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.”
If that thought makes you uncomfortable, run. Your kids deserve a father who models the faith, not one who treats it like a hobby.
So, What Now?
If he’s serious about you, he’ll be serious about his deen. But if he’s treating Islam like an accessory, he’s not ready for you. Marriage is hard enough, don’t make it harder by choosing someone who needs to be convinced to fulfill his basic obligations.
Want to make sure you choose wisely? Check out , a book/course/resource designed to help Muslim women navigate marriage decisions with clarity and faith. Don’t let wishful thinking cloud your judgment. Equip yourself with the knowledge you need to choose right.