Sis, let’s get real. How many times have you stared at your phone, waiting for that “heyyy” text from a man who barely gives you two seconds of his time? How often have you adjusted your hijab just right, hoping he notices? And let’s not even start on the social media stalking (yes, I see you checking who liked his posts). But here’s the tea: love that isn’t meant for you will never be yours, no matter how hard you chase it.
So, what’s the solution? It’s time to flip the script and start loving yourself the way you deserve. Here’s how:
1 Understand That You Are Already Enough
Repeat after me: I am complete. I am whole. I am enough. No man, no relationship, no validation from the outside world defines your worth. Allah created you perfectly. He says in the Quran:
“We have certainly created man in the best of stature.” (Quran 95:4)
If Allah has called you the best, why are you waiting for some random guy to tell you you’re “pretty” before you believe it?
2 If He Wanted to, He Would. Period.
How many times have you justified his bare minimum effort?
“Oh, he’s just busy.” Sis, even the Prophet (PBUH) had time for his wives.
“If I just give him more time, he’ll change.” Girl, let Allah do the changing, not you.
Here’s a golden rule: A man who values you will show up, communicate, and make you feel secure. If you’re feeling anxious, neglected, or confused, guess what? That’s not your person.
Let go and trust in Qadr (divine decree). Allah’s timing is never wrong.
3 Detach From What is Not Yours
Let’s talk about emotional hijacking. You’re holding onto love that doesn’t belong to you because it feels safe. But Allah says:
“Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows, while you do not know.” (Quran 2:216)
Maybe that guy you’re chasing is a lesson, not a soulmate. Let that sink in.
4 Pour That Energy Into Yourself
The hours you spend overanalyzing texts? Redirect that energy. Build yourself up spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
- Strengthen Your Relationship with Allah – The love you’re searching for? It starts with Him. Prioritize your prayers, read Quran with meaning, and make sincere dua.
- Glow Up (For YOU) – Hit the gym, eat nourishing foods, upgrade your skincare routine. Not for a man. For YOU.
- Boss Up – Focus on your career, hobbies, or business ideas. Want to write a book? Start a podcast? Travel? Do it.
Need a boost? Try journaling with the Self-Love & Healing Journal for Muslim Women, designed to help you rediscover yourself through Islamic teachings and daily affirmations. (P.S. It’s on Amazon )
5 Dua is Your Superpower
Heartbreak hurts. Disappointment stings. But you’re never alone. Even the strongest women in Islam turned to Allah in their lowest moments. Mariam (AS), Khadijah (RA), Aisha (RA), they all faced trials but emerged stronger.
Make this dua your daily mantra:
“My Lord, grant me from Yourself a good spouse. Indeed, You are the Bestower.” (Quran 25:74)
Let Allah pick for you. Trust that what He withholds is a redirection, not rejection.
Final Words: Love Yourself, or No One Else Will
Imagine a woman who walks with confidence, glows with self-love, and radiates iman. That can be you. But first, you need to stop chasing what isn’t meant for you and start loving what is, yourself.
So tell me, sis, what’s ONE thing you’ll start doing today to love yourself more? Drop a comment below!