Ladies, let’s be real: You’ve been there. You meet a guy who seems perfect, he’s funny, charming, even sends you good morning texts (consistency, am I right?). But just when you start imagining the nikkah invites, BOOM, he ghosts you, turns out to be a walking red flag, or worse, gives you the “I’m not ready for marriage” speech after six months of talking. Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep falling for the wrong guy?”, buckle up, because Islam has the answer. And sis, you’re not ready for this truth bomb. Let’s break it down:
1. You’re Ignoring the Fitrah (Your Built-In Love GPS)
Islam teaches that our souls were created with a natural inclination (fitrah) toward goodness (Surah Ar-Rum 30:30). Deep down, you know that the guy who only Snapchats you after 11 PM isn’t “The One,” but you ignore the warning signs. Instead of following your fitrah, you convince yourself that he just “needs time” or “has potential.”
Reality check: If a man values you, he will honor you in the halal way. If he doesn’t, no amount of overanalyzing his texts will change that.
2. You’re Choosing “Butterflies” Over Sakoon
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught that marriage is built on sakoon (tranquility), mawaddah (love), and rahmah (compassion) (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21). But what do we do instead? We chase butterflies!
Sis, that stomach-churning, heart-racing, “OMG he texted!” feeling? That’s not love, it’s anxiety. A good man brings you peace, not panic attacks. If you’re constantly second-guessing where you stand, that’s not a relationship, that’s emotional warfare.
3. You’re Confusing Validation with Love
Let’s be honest, sometimes, it’s not even the guy we’re into. It’s the attention. We live in a world where likes, DMs, and cute nicknames from the wrong guy can feel like self-worth boosters. But real talk? If he can call you habibti without commitment, he’s calling five other girls the same thing.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “A person will be with those whom he loves” (Bukhari, Muslim). So, do you really want to be with someone whose love is as temporary as his WhatsApp DP?
4. You’re Not Using the “Marriage Filter”
Imagine if every time you met a guy, you had a built-in Islamic Relationship Filter™ that auto-rejected time-wasters. Oh wait, you do! It’s called intentions. Islam teaches us to have niyyah (pure intentions) in everything we do.
If a guy doesn’t even mention marriage, talks about “just going with the flow,” or gets defensive when you bring up halal commitment, DELETE, BLOCK, MOVE ON. Love isn’t a guessing game in Islam. If he’s serious, he’ll make his intentions clear.
5. You’re Forgetting That Qadr > Red Flags
Sometimes, no matter how many red flags you spot, you still fall for the wrong guy because you were meant to learn a lesson. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran, “It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. And Allah knows while you do not know” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216).
Translation: That heartbreak? That rejection? That moment you realized he was a fraud? ALLAH WAS PROTECTING YOU. Sometimes, the wrong guy enters your life not to stay, but to redirect you to the right one.
6. You’re Not Making Dua Like You Mean It
You’ll double-text him, but you won’t make dua for the right spouse? Priorities, sis. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us that dua changes destiny (Tirmidhi). So, instead of stalking his Instagram, start praying Salatul Istikhara and making this powerful dua:
“O Allah, grant me what is best for me in this life and the Hereafter, and keep away from me what is harmful.”
Trust me, when Allah handpicks your spouse, he won’t make you cry yourself to sleep over “seen” messages.
Final Thoughts: Stop Romanticizing Harams and Start Romanticizing Halal
At the end of the day, falling for the wrong guy isn’t just bad luck, it’s a mix of ignoring Islamic wisdom, falling for dunya distractions, and forgetting that true love is built on iman, not Instagram aesthetics.
So, the next time you catch yourself catching feelings for someone who isn’t leading you closer to Allah, pause. Reflect. And then, respectfully swerve.
Your akhira is too precious for a temporary “situationship.” Choose wisely, queen.